The saga of running aground

Everybody gets headaches right?  I got headaches, and recently, I mean the past four or five years I would get headaches, more in the winter than any other time.. I didn't worry about them.. But when I would get a really bad one it was like what the hell..  But.. They would go away.. The 22nd of December 2016 was a special day.. My brother and his wife would sign into law that they would officially adopt their daughters twins...  This was the day we had been waiting for.. I video taped that and it was fantastic.. Got the video, got it converted and edited, edited then converted.. You know what I mean.. Got the videos set and one went to YouTube and the other slightly longer one went to the holding card... then.. Well done.. Went to bed that night head was starting to hurt, not excessive but hurting.. Watched whatever I was watching and dosed off, nothing new there.. I was hot.. and then I was well awake and thought I better get the timer set to shut off the tv.. The damn remote wouldn't work.. Shit... Well Let me see, try new batteries.. Got some in there and it still wouldn't work right.. Well just what the hell..  Little did I know the wheels had fallen off..  The wheels had fallen off??  Well here is what was in the process of happening.. I was in the process of forgetting every fucking thing I knew... EVERYTHING...  I was hot, that night it was extremely cold, but I was sweating.. It was cold.. I took all the blankets off, down to the one blanket.. Awe, comfortable.. Fell asleep for just a minute or two and then woke up freezing.. Oh great I'm losing my mind... But then I covered up and was comfortable enough to sleep, woke in the morning of the 23rd to barely know where I was.. I knew who I was, but could barely talk.. Got down stairs to eat breakfast but wasn't sure of anything..  I wasn't hungry but forced myself to eat a little..  Then I went into the front room, sat in the chair, after a while I went back to the kitchen.. Mom said do you want to go to the hospital..  Wow little did I know.. But the answer to that was always no.. So I started to drink glasses of water and fairly quickly I started feeling a lot better.. Was I dehydrated??  That drastically dehydrated.. I didn't know you could be..  But as  I was thinking about it years before I was planning to go to a concert with my brothers and I was suffering some odd symptom.. I decided not to go because of the way I felt.. I disappointed them but I just didn't feel right.. Was this that symptom???

From the 23rd of December I started to feel better. Was I dehydrated??  I kept the drinking water up.. Strange but good enough..  Little did I know...  From Christmas to new years day there would be no symptom return, nothing that showed..   Then the night of the third came.. I hadn't had a headache in a while but sure enough my head started to hurt again.. Not horribly bad but I was a little afraid it would get worse.. That night I had the hot bed action again.. Awe shit great.. (by the way everything had returned to normal mentally wise except for one thing, I still had troubles remembering words.. This from a guy who loves Scrabble).. So my head was hurting again, so .. big hairy deal.. The next day the 4th was another day.. everything was normal, ate breakfast, did everything normal and then about ten thirty or there about I had what looked like a migraine headache coming on.. Awe just great.. These things are like an acid trip without the acid or the trip but more like absolutely no fun.. But this was different.. My right eye was getting this fun shit that is like a migraine fun thing, but it looked a little different.. The glow look to it was a little different.. Awe just what the hell is this now???  This fun just keeps going.. I went to bed to give this a break, laid down and relaxed.. Mom had no idea what might be going on, and really neither did I..

My eye might be fucked up.. But to think what it might be... I shuddered but not enough to get right on it, besides the weather was turning to shit.. I hated the idea of going down and then being stranded and going blind or whatever.. So I did the next best thing.. I stayed home and became stranded and risked going blind.. The eye having a retinal tear or hemorrage was not a good thing, blind is the direction I would likely go.. I was afraid but I am the type of person that waits rather than gets on the issue.. That evening I tried to keep my eye closed.. And even as I thought I wasn't losing my vision I had a few ideas go through my mind that night..

The Saga of the January 5 6 7...  Woke up on the 5th and ate and as I was sitting there and taking stock in the eye situation noticed that the eye still had vision and a dark area where it was the day before, dark but not losing vision I didn't believe.. Migraines for me don't have hang ons, hold over effects, in fact some times I don't have headaches with the migraines, sometimes..  This dark area looked like a building or house or a tent, depending on your grandiose range.. I said house, could have been a tent...  Anyway the fun was to begin at morning, I came down for breakfast and as I was getting the small talk from mom and she said so how did you sleep last night??  Well funny you might ask me this, yesterday I thought I was getting a migraine but it felt a little different from a migraine and told her I thought I might need to see a eye doctor..  So shortly there after We started looking in the phone book and Thursdays are not good days to need eye doctors, compound this with the fact that it had snowed fairly good and I'm looking at a shitty situation..  So I call my older brother and lay out the situation and he tells me to try a guy and I do. No answer.. In hindsight the two I thought about contacting would have been a waste of time. One was a small independent eye doc, the other was at walmart and while going to WM for glasses is not a bad thing, or maybe it is I have no idea, this was likely not a good idea.. I ended up calling and getting into another local eye doctor.. At noon.. pushing the luck.. I wasn't sure about driving what with that in my eye, and I was trying to keep it shut so that might have been an accident waiting to happen.. My brother came and ran me down there.. The road wasn't horrible but with my eye juggling I was glad he took me..  Got to the place and was just a few minutes late.. The eye person put eye drops in to get them dialated.. That's just never fun... I always feel more blind than not after getting that shit in my eyes.. Went into the office and the eye doctor's second was asking me questions I have no answers to that, might very well just be asking me why the chicken crossed the road..  She puts these little blood pressure wrist band things on, they are small but.. They pump up and I watch them go up.. and up.. and up...  and....   Err... Err  what's err... Well she changes to the other arm, the first one is apparently defective, so the other pumps up and up... Gets to err..  err again.. Well lets give it another try.. The third try was the answer.. 86 over 64...  I get full praise and all this time she is praising me I am telling her and later him that I didn't think my pressure was that low.. Da, it's right.. Why doubt it..  Well after the tests were run and the true eye doctor looked at the results he said a blood vessel must have ruptured.. So he wasn't sure what might have caused it but.. He called a doctor, my moms because  I hadn't been to a doctor to be seen since.. quite a while..  My moms doc said he would look at me at 2:45 that afternoon.. So go get a bite and then check at the doctors office..  Well this should be fun.. I kept saying it's my blood pressure.. My older brother said it's probably diabetis.. I hoped not, I watched my dad die from that..  And it wasn't pretty..  So we get to the doctors office.. Funny little thing I might point out here, I have a checking account that has just shy of two thousand dollars in it... I'm just stating this fact for what was about to happen in the next four hours and actually the next fifty some odd hours..  I get to the doctors office and then the fun begins..

I get into the office and they have me check my weight and its 205 which I swore was way lighter than I thought, I hadn't weighed myself in quite some time but with my eating habit I swore I was well over the 225 pound area, maybe even 250... Why??  Just have no idea.. So then my height is about six feet.. Depending if I'm standing right upright..   Then the big tell... Blood Pressure.. This little gal put it on and pumped it up.. These things are not designed for blood pressure of people on Saturn, The first two went off the scale.. So we'll let this other girl (nurse) do the damages, she put my cup on and pumped by hand.. Up and up.. and up..  and up....  and up....    Is there an end??  I'm not sure the top number but it was over 200...  The doctor came in and he was freaking..


The decision was to put me in the emergency room right there right then...   So with that I walked down there, they got me started with iv drips plural..  By five that evening I had a force drip to get the pressure down to earth persons pressure..  I was hot that night, they put a fan in there.. That night would suck..  Why would it suck you might ask.. These hospital beds were not built for comfort.. Adding the fact that the bp test would fill and unfill every five or fewer  seconds and the comfort was not very high.. The Irony wasn't lost on me that night as I had a fan on during what would be the coldest night of the year.. But the thing was that while it kept the temperature regulated it also helped with the white noise.. I have tinitis so bad that I have to have some secondary sound and usually it is a radio station but those nights it was the fan.. I watched the tv, sure and it was really interesting, watching the Denver station tell how cold it was going to be and it was going to be cold.  I worried about mom, was she alright, had she fallen... So all this coupled with my back being in massive pain and even the inability to pee kept me worried about things.. High blood Pressure.  Yeah and there may be no fix..  The clock would move to three in the morning, the BP testing would be less as they got it under some control and.. My back kept hurting.. Shit.. Then I thought wait a minute.. I sleep in a shitty bed all the time, why can't I manage this bit of fun... I wasn't sure how much I could move but I thought well give this a try.. I moved out of dead center and found my back stop hurting.. While that stopped hurting I knew sleep would still not happen.. But it did, for about half an hour maybe.. Then Friday was here..

Earlier that night a nurse needed to get a shot, she wanted it in the left arm and I told her (don't ask me why I thought this was a good idea) that I had dislocated my arm a while back.. This was 2001, not that day.. So out goes that nurse and in comes a brain trust with questions and all I could think was shit.. if I had known this was going to erupt into the spanish inquisition I wouldn't have said squat.. Why did I say that?? My left arm is deformed.. It has what looks like my elbow on the inside not the outside.. I didn't want this nurse to prick my arm there.. Don't ask me why I thought she might nail me there.. But as the other nurses are asking me why I never had it operated on to fix it I simply uttered the words I have said many times before as honest and straightforward as I always have.. I don't trust doctors.. Why haven't I gone to see the doctor before now to check up??  I don't trust a doctor...


Friday would be a day of disappointment.. The morning they told me I had to eat something.. I had something, toast at first (They gave me a choice between regular toast and peanut butter toast) the something had sausage in it.. It was fine but... they gave me something for the blood pressure and I had to eat before that..  Then I ate as much of everything I could stomach hoping that the pill wouldn't hurt my stomach.. I seemed fine.. Then I sat up and burped.. This would be a tell burp.. A popcorn burp.. Why is bad for me to have a popcorn burp??  Well for one I hadn't had popcorn in a day.. or two .. or since I was in high school, yeah it goes back to then that this tell has been part of my life.. Why not eat popcorn anyway?? Because that is a tell for when I'm going to puke or shit or both sometimes at the same time...  So I ring the nurse and tell her I might be going to be sick later..  She talked to me about it and I told her I couldn't remember the name of the stuff I took.. I called mom to ask about what it was called but during the conversation the BP test cup started to inflate and the more I'm using the muscles the more it takes to fill.. I had to let my arm go limp and couldn't change hands because my right arm had intraveinous set there in the crease.. So I let it go... Shortly my arm was able to hold the phone again.. Told mom what it was I thought where it was and she found it..  BEAN-O ...  I told the nurse and the lab got right on that.. Three hours later.. I knew I would have trouble but I ate the super.. Friday night would be weird in more ways than anything.. Earlier Friday the doctor decided to make it the whole of Friday and maybe could get me out by Saturday.. MAYBE.. My stomach had an issue that morning (Friday morning) .. After all was said and done and I told him about being sick to my stomach he said he thought it might have been caused from trying not to take a crap.. Truth is I thought I had it timed to where I would get out Friday afternoon and when it didn't happen I thought yep, no crapping equals no fun...

Friday night.. This is when they were getting things set.. Getting the pressure set and I wouldn't need to have the cup filled hardly at all..   This is also when I was getting so tired I would start to hallucinate...  I had been this tired before but the dreams would turn ....

Friday is Gold Rush night.. I watched this show that night as well.. Not that this would change me but.. I dosed off... It was strange but I dozed while that show was on.. I woke up.. Or thought I had woke up.. There was my older brother.. And his daughter.. Kidding around.. like they always did.. I broke up.. Was it all a bad dream??? She was alive!!!      And then just a few minutes later I was awakened to find it was still Jack and the idiot Hauffman boys...

Later I would fill the thunder mug three times... Hope that didn't effect the test...





***  How do I really know I was having troubles with my memory on the 23rd of December??  Not getting the remote to work was a tell but one other thing beyond having troubles reading.. Music... Something I have been able to understand from almost before I could talk, I understand music... When I could understand music when I was so young and then when I really learned to play music made me be able to understand music and just ... But after that Friday I lost the ability to understand music.. Every song was new to me and worse off I didn't get it.. If anyone gets music then understand that suddenly it leaves you..  I have no way to explain it other than my ability to read words... Not being able to understand words, not getting the directions for getting the remote control to work...  How to program it...   *****


###Back in December (early) I got this wild idea of getting videos from the discs that were my nephew, and his mom had wanted these videos as far back as ... quite a while and I took them off the discs and kept them, she had said she would get them but never did.. So after last summers debacle with the computer it was all lost again.. So this December I came up with the idea to try to get some of the videos and in some cases they would seem to be doubled up but weren't it just seemed like they were, I edited the videos down.. Then I got the idea to do the same with my older brother to get his daughters girls onto  a SD card, and then not to be out done I would do the same for mom..   My sister inlaws video card would be a 16GB card, so would my older brother until.. Yeah it wouldn't fit, so I went 32GB (29GB give or take) and moms would be a 32GB card as well because there would be more there as well... Now why was this done.. I told them I thought it would be a really great idea to do, the dvd ram discs were starting to deteriorate and that is true.. But something else happened.. I had a vision.. A strange vision but a vision none the less.. While mom says she won't be alive much longer I thought one day but what if I die first??  And a vision popped into my head and I got with it and got these cards done...Does that mean I knew something was about to happen??   ####

After that

So After a session of making the blog much important.. It stopped.. It's like I bragged that I thought I was getting a lot of viewers and thought wow I should see if I could make money doing the blog and because of that I lost the ability to think... So weird... But on the /...


In the early part of December I wanted to do the videos... Not.. Well here is what I was gonna do.. In the early days/years of doing the videos I was doing them to DVD discs.. And that was fine, I made a lot of discs, they are just over 4GB in length and that seemed like a lot, and it kinda sorta is.. Well dvd discs are good but they age unfortunately and they are something that you might want to last for more than 8 years, and .. THEY DON'T sadly... They can last more than 8 years but they can also not last 8 years and they can last 12 or longer years but they can also not last very long at all.. So at the start of this past year (2016) I decided that there will be no more dvd RAM  dvd discs used and the main reason is because they can go fuck all and that's it... Back when my Sister in law's sun was just about four years old she wanted the old videos and I loaded them on to the computer but for the longest time she didn't get the videos and at one point this past year I decided to "upgrade" To windows 10 because it was free and why not do that because of that.. Well three weeks later the computer took a turd fest on the computer and so I reversed and went back to windows 7 and was thankful I did, but upon doing so I lost all those videos.. So a few weeks before Christmas I was doing a video project for her, then one for my other sister in law and then a third for my mom.. Not all of these are the  same project... And they would be SD cards, the greatest reason being is that SD cards clip into the computer... Flash drives can be bumped loose and can cause issues upon doing so..  SD cards clip into their place and you eject them, while some people don't it is extremely wise to eject them..  My Sister inlaw with the videos of her sons is  a 16GB card, some of the videos are not in the best of shape but some are just lucky to get them to work at all..  The other sister inlaw has a SD card that started as 16GB but ended up having to be 32GB because of the sheer number of videos and length, with a few videos being repeated because they were doubled, because of there being videos of everyone together.. And then the one on my moms SDcard was the master of it all.. Two 32GB SD cards..  And a little extra for moms.. There was the video for Donald's wedding rehearsal and there is another with Jordans wedding... And whatever else will be made to work..  And then a quick look at everything and two videos were deleted because they were identical with the difference being that they were titled something slightly different..   All together the ones for mom are sort of the backup to the other two as a just in case but more because these are the only ones that I have.. the discs are fine but may gradually no longer play, as discs seem to go to hell over time and I'm not sure how long the SD cards will last.. Ultimately I want all the videos to be uploaded to a family YouTube site to hold onto everything.. However the reason the videos of Ian were redundant and mostly I was after what not only would play but also the more interesting bits.. Yes he will only be this age for a short time and that is why I edited the videos a little bit... With the twins it was a completely different story.. In the first three years we got to see a little bit but was nice to see what little we got to see..


After their mother died I started to record everything, and had troubles editing them down and as the proceedings went along with the adoption and about Thanksgiving of 2015 there was worry that they would be lost because of the father trying to get them.. And it was extremely hard for both my brother and his wife and everyone else.. When it got to be May and the end was extremely near and the father was about to win all I could think was well now what??  What do I do with all the videos, if he wins I doubt that I will keep the videos... I hoped we would win.. When I say we I mean my brother and his wife.. but also the community, the community that was and is my brother, his wife and everyone else ho were pulling for them to win... By labor day week end they had in fact won but had to wait some 90 days between winning and appeals court and whatever other hoops that had to be jumped through.. Some on the other side (the father) might have said well they tried to cut corners or tried to start things before they were ready.. They did everything BY THE BOOK.. Because if they wouldn't have they would have lost.. In fact they went above and beyond the book... I happen to know for a fact that is what they did.. You can't cut a corner and think that would be alright... It wouldn't be..


All the videos were set to be on disc, but when the discs weren't watched I honestly thought about stopping video work.. The videos are almost never watched on YouTube but then I thought Tabitha always complimented me and so I decided to always do videos, always send them to disc (card now) and edit them for YouTube...